Dear Deefor

Dear Deefor,
I am being starved to death in captivity. On nights I go to school and eat hot dogs I come home to half a cup of kibble! I am wasting away! How can I get more foodies?


Dexter



Dear Dexter

That's awful. Humans eat all the time and put us on a diet! I learned from my evil brother Arrow that being bad gets you treats. I used to be good and NEVER got treats. Now when we go for walkies all the dogs follow my mom cause she has so much good stuff in her pockets. Cause we’re bad.

Arrow doesn’t like to come when called, so now my mom calls him with a treat in her hand! He used to poop in the house till she started giving him pieces of hamburger or hot dog when he did it outside. He gets treats for everything. (And to be fair, I do too!)

When the humans call you or say Sit or whatever, just look at them like you don’t really understand. Don’t do it unless they get out the treats.

Good luck.

Deefor

P.S. Hope you are feeling better.


Dear Deefor,
Why am I so skinny? I eat constantly. All the dogs in my neighborhood say I’m anorexic. I even eat stuff off the counters and out of the garbage. I exercise a lot. What can I do to bulk up?

Skinny Bones





Dear Skinny Bones,
Don’t worry about what the other doggies think. If you’re happy (and not hungry) ignore them. You look great.

Deefor