Sunday, July 6, 2008

Dear Deefor

Dear Deefor,
I am being starved to death in captivity. On nights I go to school and eat hot dogs I come home to half a cup of kibble! I am wasting away! How can I get more foodies?


Dexter



Dear Dexter

That's awful. Humans eat all the time and put us on a diet! I learned from my evil brother Arrow that being bad gets you treats. I used to be good and NEVER got treats. Now when we go for walkies all the dogs follow my mom cause she has so much good stuff in her pockets. Cause we’re bad.

Arrow doesn’t like to come when called, so now my mom calls him with a treat in her hand! He used to poop in the house till she started giving him pieces of hamburger or hot dog when he did it outside. He gets treats for everything. (And to be fair, I do too!)

When the humans call you or say Sit or whatever, just look at them like you don’t really understand. Don’t do it unless they get out the treats.

Good luck.

Deefor

P.S. Hope you are feeling better.


Dear Deefor,
Why am I so skinny? I eat constantly. All the dogs in my neighborhood say I’m anorexic. I even eat stuff off the counters and out of the garbage. I exercise a lot. What can I do to bulk up?

Skinny Bones





Dear Skinny Bones,
Don’t worry about what the other doggies think. If you’re happy (and not hungry) ignore them. You look great.

Deefor

12 comments:

the 4 Bs said...

hi Deefor, you are giving excellent advice as usual. eating is one of our favorite subjects. what we would like to know is why is Baxter ... ah... well... kind of chunky and Brody is a twig? it's just not fair, we say. and we hardly ever get treats - except for those cheeseburgers on our birthdays. hee hee.

woofs.

Joe Stains said...

You give some great advice, I wish I could get on the counter to eat food :(

Khyra The Siberian Husky said...

Thanks fur the visit -

and fur the advice to the other khanines!!


Hugz&Khysses,
Khyra

Mr. T-Bone Beasley said...

Ahhhhh Deefor! What great advice you give! You should have your own column in a newspaper! Hehehehe! You could be a writer for all of the doggie kennels! I hope everyday that I get human food, and it never works!

Slurp!
Mr. T-Bone Beasley

Lorenza said...

Hi, Deefor!
Another good advice!
I'd love to be called anorexic and not chubby!
Kisses and hugs
Lorenza

Lacy said...

w00f;s deefor and arrow, u iz a pawsome advice giver, deefor..heehee me cant counter surf either, they watch me to much..

b safe,
~rockydog~

Girl Girl Hamster said...

Those are really excellent advise Deefor

~ Girl girl

Abby said...

Hi, Deefor...

More very good advise...Food is very important to us & we should get as much food & treats as we want...

Abby xxooo

Mango said...

Deefor - You are so smart! Plus I overheard Momma saying that she is looking forward to the time when I am well enough behaved on walkies that she doesn't have to carry treats! Yes! The solution is to be a bad dog!

Dexter

Asta said...

Deefow

You nevew cease to amaze me wif youw wisdom! That is excellent advice...I twy to look especially pitiful awound food..it doesn't wowk as well wif my pawents ( I think they know me too well), but stwangews at ouw house always fall fow it, hehehehhe
one of the hoomans in NEwHamstew asked Mommi non-stop, "is Asta OK?, does ASTA need something? hehehehe
I got hew
smoochie kisses
ASTA

Deetz said...

I just love reading your advice column....what great advice....
Deetzy

Gus, Louie and Callie said...

Our Mom uses those treats to get us to come too. Louie is really good at "come" all Mom or Dad has to do is wave their arm. Callie hasn't been introduced to that training yet but it is coming soon..


Big Sloppy Kisses
Gus, Louie and Callie