Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Monday, April 28, 2008

Update on Bark Busters or I Poop for Hamburger

Before BB (BBB)

We have been working on walking without dragging our humans around. I thought that's why they were holding on to the leash. Now I stay on the side or a little behind my humans. Mostly.

Otherwise they give me a little pull on the torture harness. I think it is outlawed by the Geneva Convention. I guess Bush doesn’t care. That’s why we need a doggie president—but let’s get back on the topic...

I have learned how to slip one of my paws out of the torture harness WHILE WE ARE WALKING. Even Arrow can’t figure out how I do it and I’m not telling. I am Deefordini. Escape doggie.

Arrow pulls sometimes and he gets a little pull too. He is better but not as good as me.


One big problem we had was barking (Arrow) and growling (me) at passing dogs. Sometimes my owner mom yanks us in another direction, or she tries to make us walk close to her. But we bark and growl anyway, even if she is giving little pulls and growling BAAAA and throwing her little Bark Buster bean bags.

This got so embarrassing (for her, not me) that she tried something else that is not from Bark Busters. To get the filthy boy Arrow to poop outside all the time, my mom starting rewarding him with pieces of chicken or hamburger. (To be fair I get it too!) Now when she thinks we are going to growl and bark at a dog, she throws food at us. Leftover meatloaf or growling at some strange doggie? Hmmm. Let me think. Which would I prefer? Sometimes she just takes out the special baggie and we stop. Now don’t tell Bark Busters about this because they might not like it. It's quiet. Non-violent. And yummy.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Lawlessness and Disorder

In the domestic justice system two doggies commit crimes large and small. Deefor and Arrow. This are is our story.

My owner mom woke up and found the evidence on the kitchen floor. An empty TV dinner box. Opened and eaten. She asked the bearded one if he ate it before bed. Maybe he left the box on the table and Arrow found it and licked it clean.

No. The bearded one didn’t eat it. Then my mom saw some groceries on the floor. She had forgotten to put them away. First my mom said Arrow must have done it. He’s always getting into stuff. That bad Arrow.

This is not the real evidence. My mom cleans up fast when she’s mad. The real one was meatballs and spaghetti. (Don’t ask me how I know.)

Detective owner mom said Arrow is a bad criminal. Noisy. Messy. Not sneaky. He goes on the table when humans are looking.

My mom said Arrow was in bed all night with his new bone. His tags are like jingle bells. She wakes up when Arrow jumps around. I was sleeping downstairs. Arrow chews stuff up and makes a mess. The crime scene was too neat. Arrow’s face would have been covered with spaghetti sauce.

So they pinned it on me. An inside job. In the park, my owner mom noticed my poop looked a little like spaghetti sauce. (She likes to put it in little bags.) It’s not DNA. I say it proves nothing.

Monday, April 21, 2008

Arrow Wants to Know

Why do humans wear chews? He says, if he wore candy bars, humans would chew on them. Especially if he took them off and left them on the floor. They leave chews around and get upset when Arrow finds them.

Who knows why humans do what they do? And then get mad...

Saturday, April 19, 2008


A day of cleaning. The rugs. The floors. Laundry. Even Arrow. He got a bath. Now he smells like the bearded one. I think they use the same shampoo. Nice but not too doggie. He’s so clean we didn’t go to the muddy dog park. I like him better dirty.

I got brushed but no bath. It takes two humans to give me a bath. I turn into Super Deefor when they try to give me a bath. I caught up on my sleep. Watching cleaning makes me tired.

Arrow too. He sleeps with his eyes open.

When the bearded one comes home I like to give him a big hello. And I don't like Arrow getting in my way.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

I'm Back

I came home from City Bark Sunday night. I was scared at first but then I had fun. The doggies there were nice. We went outside in their big yard. We got home and went to sleep. Arrow fell asleep in the car!

I’d give City Bark four stars ****! They didn’t make me do stuff. When I wanted to stay in the cage, they let me. They helped me get used to the other doggies. They have a nice yard. And they made sure all the doggies played nice.

Yesterday we went to our favorite dog park. I was good. Didn’t have to go on the leash. Was nice to the other doggies and they were nice to me. Even the giant ones.

Arrow had to go on the leash at the end because he didn’t want to say goodbye to the water.

Saturday, April 12, 2008

From Arrow

Deefor is not having fun in doggie daycare. We sleep together with our bones and chews in a big cage. We go for walkies and runs outside. Then I go and play and Deefor only wants to go back to the cage! He says he doesn't want to run around all day with a bunch of strange dogs and me. It's true some of them are strange. A few pee on the floor. (no comment) Sometimes there are humpers. (no comment) But we have fun. Deefor would rather sleep in his cage all day. He likes the big cage and wants to redecorate it with more blankies. Maybe today he'll come out. I miss him.

Great news. After breakfast, Deefor came to play. He is fine. Here we are sitting together like brothers in the back.
Also I really like a doggie like Lorenza. And I think she likes me.

Wednesday, April 9, 2008


My humans are trying to make Arrow and me walk better. Little yanks on the leash. Sometimes my owner mom has to yell, BAAAA! real loud when we don’t listen. I try to make her look silly by going mental when other doggies go by. She has a new name for me when we walk. It’s Jesus Christ Deefor.

Arrow and me are going on vacation. Not our usual weekends with the humans. We are going to the doggie daycare overnight. I am not sure what to pack. I am a little nervous. I’m used to sleeping in bed. Or under it. Do I take my favorite chews? Bones?

We'll be at City Bark Friday, Saturday, and Sunday so maybe you can see us on their web cam. I’ll try to smile and wave at the camera a lot.

Saturday, April 5, 2008

Poor Arrow

Poor Arrow. He had poop trouble again. Too much poop. Today he went to the vet. My owner mom saw little things in his poop that looked like worms. The bearded one thought it was just pieces of the carpet that Arrow unravels and snacks on. Arrow got him to hold his bone while he chews. And Arrow doesn’t even give him treats or tell him he’s a good boy. Arrow is the People Whisperer.

The vet gave Arrow needles and medicine. Now he can’t poop at all! He was kind of confused about housebreaking. He thought it meant breaking the house! He is very good at that. He’s better with the medicine. He took off his bandage.

Today Arrow found a little snow.

A last minute roach.

It’s melting where we go on weekends but there’s still snow on the mountains for humans to ride on.

Speaking of humans, the bearded one brought home a doggie bag with chicken and steak. I could smell it on the counter.

It’s meant for us. Why is it on the counter? (Sorry the video is sideways. My humans are not too good at this stuff.)