Begging Lessons

My owner mom was sad today. She went to Big O in Frisco for a new battery. They put it in backwards and blew a big fuse. Burned out her radio too! No CDs. No music. No lights inside the car! She should have left the old battery and taken us for a longer walkie.


We had a short walkie in the snow today. The deer left us poop treats. Bite size. We got dragged away fast. If I was a wild dog, I could eat it all. I could run around. But then I couldn’t sleep in bed and beg for cheese. Tough choice.

In the park, we inspected the gazebo. Arrow tasted the ornaments. Didn’t pee on the tree.

At home, I gave Arrow begging lessons. Step 1.The yearning look.

Step 2. Begging.

Step 3. The mighty leap. (This doesn’t always work. It can get you in trouble if you’re not cute.)

Step 4. The reward. Cheddar cheese. Sorry. No picture. I ate it too fast.

Christmas

Christmas day is over. Lots of turkey and stuffin. Lots of food for me. ‘Course, hard to get a good view of the table from down on the floor. I always have to depend on the kindness of strangers. And the humans I live with. They act like anything but kibble and rice is bad for me. You should see the things they feed each other. Pie. Ice Cream. Buttery sweet potatoes. Giant pieces of turkey and ham...

The bearded one likes to feed me at the table but my mean owner mom thinks that’s a not a good habit. I don’t beg. I don’t cry. I just sit with my nose in his lap. He’s pretty sneaky. Arrow sits at the side. The bearded one is fair. If he “drops” some turkey near me, he has to “drop” some for Arrow. I used to sit on his lap where I could see the plates, but those days are gone. Thanks to you know who.


We got some treats. Chews and Doggie Pawtato Chips. Where's the dip? This thing is pretty blah. Arrow likes them and tries to steal mine. I don’t eat mine. Just guard it to piss Arrow off. Living with the constant threat of terrier-ism has made me grumpier. Every day is a brown and black alert.


I'm not near computer power much this week. (Snow obsessed owners-- need I say more) Have to send my owner mom to the coffee shop to get any wi-fi. I'll catch up after the new year. Meantime, you all have a wonderful holiday!

Company

We have a baby visitor for Christmas. He is tasty to lick. I have never seen a baby close up. I hope he does not eat my doggie food.


Arrow unwrapped one of his presents. My owner mom finished wrapping some tiny mittens. Then they disappeared. Arrow jumped on the table and took them upstairs. He didn’t eat the mittens. Just the paper. Maybe he can help open presents on Christmas day! I don’t like paper unless it touched food. Like greasy wrappers and napkins. Yum. The baby likes to eat paper too!

Arrow thinks he smells good like sour milk. But he is jealous because everyone pets him and gives him toys.


I try to set a good example for Arrow. I’m the older uncle. The baby is here with his parents from Seattle. They are visiting the sun and the snow and their doggie uncles.

The Chewminator

Arrow’s got the munchies lately. Papers. Nail files. Plastic bags. Gloves.


Last week Arrow ate my collar. Almost all but the tags. Guess he got it mixed up with his chew. I shouldn’t have left it lying around. A few days later he spit it back up. Pretty big pieces too. I didn’t take a picture cause it was too gross.


I'd keep an eye on those bindings if that was my board....

Cards! Cards! Cards!

This is the best Christmas. Here are some of them.

But there are more. We are lazy about getting organized. Some are still on the fridge. After Christmas I'm going to visit everyone online. Seeing all these smiling doggie faces on the wall is wonderful.


There is not a lot of Christmas bling around here. No tree. No lights. Once the snow starts falling these humans have one thing on their mind. Skiing. Riding. And Eating. Guess that's three things. Anyway-- Thank you all for the cards!


I have been relaxing this weekend. Enjoying the sunshine.


It’s hard to get any shut eye with hyper Arrow around. He likes the mountains and he's pretty good there. Rolls in the snow. Doesn’t poop in the house. I think he’s really a mountain dog and we should leave him there.


Don't worry about holidays. Just enjoy them and watch for all the food falling on the floor.

Where is the Dog Whisperer When You Need Him?

We are always the worst dogs in the neighborhood. Arrow and me. It’s true. We are bad. When my owner mom takes plastic bags out of the drawer, we know it’s time for a walkie. That’s exciting stuff. We run around. Throw toys up in the air. Finally we sit by the door and get our leashes put on. When she locks the door and says OK, we stop being good.

We pull. We like to go in opposite directions. There’s too much to look at. A dead bird under a car. A doggie across the street. Arrow barks. I growl. Lots of good garbage to smell on the sidewalk. And in the mountains, the pee of a million animals! Arrow eats peanuts people put out for the squirrels. Arrow picks up smelly stuff. Our mom says Drop It! Arrow drops it and gets a treat. Then he looks for something else gross to pick up. He has her trained real good. I can’t do it. Once it’s in my mouth, I won’t let go.

Then we head to the park. Every time a dog walks by, I get a little nervous. I scrunch down and growl. This gets Arrow barking. This gets my mom pulling us around. Off the path. Out of the way. Sometimes she apologizes. She says: They’re better separately. Or I don’t know what happened to him (me).

Arrow wants to say hello to every person and animal we pass. He says it very loudly. Sometimes he jumps on people at the bus stop. My mom apologizes. He’s very friendly, she says. Too friendly. Then I growl. I don’t know why he’s like this, she says.

Someone will pass with a dog that walks without pulling. Just strolls along quietly. The dog looks down on us (we’re small) with her nose in the air. Sometimes the dog is not even on a leash!! Just walking next to their human like their having a conversation. We bark. We pull. I growl. We get dragged across the street. The other owners and quiet dogs smile.

Santa's Helpers

Finally. Photos for cards. My owner mom tried to get us both together on the bed. But when Arrow got too close in that freaky reindeer costume, I had to growl at him. He’s like some monster dog. Something you don’t want to snuggle up to.


Then she tried getting us both in the box but, like I said, I didn’t want to be anywhere near him. He looks mangy enough normally without a red nose on his HEAD and antlers! I think he owes Rudolf an apology.


So my mom’s got him in the box. He liked it in there! And I am the Grinchy Elf. It’s hard to smile when you’re being moved around in unnatural ways. Two pictures. She gave us treats. Zuke’s chicken. Later, when I was working on the computer, we heard this papery noise. I figured Arrow was munching on the box so I ignored him. He will eat anything. But it wasn’t the box. He found the treats and ate the WHOLE bag by himself!

p.s. These pics are rejects. We got some better ones.

Christmas Card Blues

Arrow and I have been working on Christmas cards. We got some great ones from other doggies. But we haven’t sent ours.


We dressed up for it. My owner mom put us on the table with a big present. I was a little nervous. We don’t go on the table in front of her, and now she is saying Sit and Stay as if it is fine. Arrow jumped off. Me too.


Then she tried the floor. Arrow squirmed and started losing his Reindeer suit. Then he took the rest off. I didn’t want to sit with him.


I look like the elf from outer space. Pretty scary. Then I heard the bearded one talking about using super glue to keep us in the box. But hang in there. We’re still working on it.

Dog's Eye View of Georgetown

This is Georgetown. It’s not far from Denver. There aren’t big streets so I ran around everywhere. The road. The store. Now they keep me on the leash.

The park is very nice. Like a little town for dogs.

But they don’t like me peeing on the kids’ stuff.

This is what I want for Christmas. I’m not fussy. Any kind will do.

Thanksgiving

No Internet for days. But lots of food. Falling on the floor while they are cooking. Leftover turkey now. I think they are getting sick of it. Every day there is more turkey mixed in my kibble.


I like to climb up for smooches so I can get a better view of the table.


Arrow was here in the mountains for 2 nights! No messing. No chewing. Occasionally he’d walk by with a sock in his mouth just for attention. He likes it there. Wild smells. Wild sounds. Things to bark about in the night. Our neighbor said he didn't hear him. But my owner mom did-- so she took him to Cody’s.


Without him I lay around. Sleep. Get petted and spoiled without the equality factor. With him I run around. We have a race track. Around the chair in the living room. Down the hall. In and out of the closet doors.

We play the chew game. I take his chew and smile at him. He barks at me. To shut him up, a human takes the chew and gives it to him. He sits on the couch with it. After a few minutes, he casually lets it fall on my head. And then the game begins again.

Rules of the game:
1. No matter how many bones or chews are in the house, we have to have the same one.
2. Whoever has the bone, has to tease the other one.

That means no taking the bone into another room and peacefully enjoying it.

Without Arrow, I slept a lot. So did everyone else.

Arrow Barks

Deefor is off snowboarding with the bearded one and I’ve got the computer! HA!

Deefor’s plan to stay away from doggie stuff from China was really stupid. Everything fun in the big box pet store was from there. All I know is I’m bored.


My owner mom bought us this toy. It’s supposed to clean and floss our teeth. Fun, huh? Give me some horse poop to roll in or a bloody bone. I floss my teeth with mom’s knitting.


We are too dumb for this other toy. It’s like a Rubik’s Cube for dogs. Next thing they’ll be giving us the New York Times Crossword Puzzle.


My new favorite is Lambie. I play squeaky songs on it. I’ve eaten all my old favorites, mom’s leather shoes. Except for her cowgirl boots. She thinks she hid them and can’t find them. Maybe I hid them! HA! HA! Enough rawhide for a lifetime. Kind of silly looking too. But what do I know about shoes?


This toy is the bomb! But hard to get. I am not sure what the humans save it for.


And the jerky! Sooo good. Deef sat under the bed with his, growling. Then my mom took it away and hid it in the kitchen somewhere. I'm still looking for it.

Out of Work

My career has ended. I worked all last week with the bearded one. I played with the other working dogs. Made sure all the humans did their work.

Arrow stayed home. He was a little sad to see me go.

He spent quiet days at home alone, waiting for me.

On Friday a big dog came to work. I didn’t like him. He didn’t like me. We had a fight and he bit me! Hard. Blood. Fur. I was crying and shaking. Now I understand why my owner mom doesn’t like when I bite her. (I only do it when she is brushing me or stepping on painful parts of me. Oh, and when I find a chicken bone on the street and....) But I never bite hard like that dog.


They should fire him. But he has seniority. Now I am again among the unemployed. Laying around the house again.

Dog Park Shame

Embarrassed at the doggie park. I get in a fight (sort of) and Arrow runs free as a bird.

My owner mom drags me around by the leash and he laughs. Show-off.

Arrow is the social director. He smells all the tails, big and small.

He likes everyone. I am just a more discriminating.

He has a blast while they yank me sideways as if I am a rabid pit bull (No offense intended to the pit bull reading this. Some of my best friends are pit bulls.)

But I don’t throw up in the car and do gross things on the rug.