Where is the Dog Whisperer When You Need Him?

We are always the worst dogs in the neighborhood. Arrow and me. It’s true. We are bad. When my owner mom takes plastic bags out of the drawer, we know it’s time for a walkie. That’s exciting stuff. We run around. Throw toys up in the air. Finally we sit by the door and get our leashes put on. When she locks the door and says OK, we stop being good.

We pull. We like to go in opposite directions. There’s too much to look at. A dead bird under a car. A doggie across the street. Arrow barks. I growl. Lots of good garbage to smell on the sidewalk. And in the mountains, the pee of a million animals! Arrow eats peanuts people put out for the squirrels. Arrow picks up smelly stuff. Our mom says Drop It! Arrow drops it and gets a treat. Then he looks for something else gross to pick up. He has her trained real good. I can’t do it. Once it’s in my mouth, I won’t let go.

Then we head to the park. Every time a dog walks by, I get a little nervous. I scrunch down and growl. This gets Arrow barking. This gets my mom pulling us around. Off the path. Out of the way. Sometimes she apologizes. She says: They’re better separately. Or I don’t know what happened to him (me).

Arrow wants to say hello to every person and animal we pass. He says it very loudly. Sometimes he jumps on people at the bus stop. My mom apologizes. He’s very friendly, she says. Too friendly. Then I growl. I don’t know why he’s like this, she says.

Someone will pass with a dog that walks without pulling. Just strolls along quietly. The dog looks down on us (we’re small) with her nose in the air. Sometimes the dog is not even on a leash!! Just walking next to their human like their having a conversation. We bark. We pull. I growl. We get dragged across the street. The other owners and quiet dogs smile.