Dear Deefor

Dear Deefor,
I love tennis balls. I'm fixated with them. You know that right? I can't live without them. They are like my security blanket. When I'm bored & in the mood to play fetch with my hoomans, they are in no mood to play with me. I usually like to ask them to play with me when they are having their din dins or watching their favorite movie on television. What I usually do is stand in front of them & drop my tennis ball on the floor several times to tell them, that I want to play ball, NOW! I don't care if they're busy or what, I want them to play with me NOW! If they ignore me, I will purposely push my tennis ball under the couch & dig. I will dig & dig & dig & make so much noise & push their legs around until they will get so fed up & get their lazy bums off the couch & get it out for me. That's the only way to get their attention! But after that, they will continue doing whatever they were doing eg: eating. So I will do it again to annoy them. They will get so mad, they will smack my butt & yell at me to stop it. Do I deserve that? All I want them to do is just play fetch with me at least for a whole hour till I'm satisfied...Please advice. Thanks!



Butt wiggles,

Solid Gold Dancer

Dear Solid Gold Dancer,
Training humans is a lifetime project. Just when you have them doing what you want, they forget all their training and ignore you. And they can be lazy.

When you want their attention, they pretend they don’t hear you. They just ignore you. And finally get mad. It’s very frustrating. And treats won’t work on them because they have them all!

The tennis ball habit can be hard to kick—and why should you? It’s exercise and fun and doesn’t hurt anyone. Besides, the humans who started it. (I see my mom looking at the tennis ball doggies and wishing she could get me to chase them. Then she could stand in one place with a big plastic thing while I run around.)

Humans are funny. They love doing things for their doggies. Feeding us yummy stuff and taking us places. They just don’t like being bossed around by doggies so you have to do it a very nice way.

They want to live with doggies but in the house they like us to act like rugs and sleep a lot. Maybe you need to run around more inside. If you continue acting persistent (but not a pest), and a lot more active, the humans will think you need more exercise. Now you have them.

The happiest tennis ball doggies have a routine. Every day they get to play a few times. I see them in the park every morning. Then they go home and act very tired. (They really could play ball all day.) Once you’ve got them playing with you a lot every day, be very calm when the humans are doing their silly stuff.

Good Luck,
Deefor