When my parents are away, I sometimes crap on the floor and then eat most of the evidence. My parents think this is disgusting. Are there any other ways I can show my disdain for being left alone?
Dear Poopy Pants,
Good you eat the evidence. Yummy snack and better for you. It's bad enough being left home without being locked in a cage. A better way is to perfect the sad eyes look and the (almost) silent cry. Act pitiful instead of pissed. You can train your humans to only go to restaurants with outdoor tables.