Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Dear Deefor

Dear Deefor,
When my parents are away, I sometimes crap on the floor and then eat most of the evidence. My parents think this is disgusting. Are there any other ways I can show my disdain for being left alone?
Poopy Pants

Dear Poopy Pants,
Good you eat the evidence. Yummy snack and better for you. It's bad enough being left home without being locked in a cage. A better way is to perfect the sad eyes look and the (almost) silent cry. Act pitiful instead of pissed. You can train your humans to only go to restaurants with outdoor tables.
Good Luck,

Make them feel guilty....

If you have questions or problems send them to me at Deefordog@gmail.com


Girl Girl Hamster said...

Oh.. that's such clever advise from you Deefor...

~ Girl girl

Pacco de Mongrel said...

i bet u shld be nominated for oscar

Charlie Daniels said...

G'day Deefor

Did you have to study very long to give this advice, 'cause it sounds like you know what you are talking about ... :-)



Amber-Mae said...

Oh Deefor, you are very good at giving good answers & advice. You could help alot of desperate doggies out there ya know like me.

I have a question,

I love tennis balls. I'm fixated with them. You know that right? I can't live without them. They are like my security blanket. When I'm bored & in the mood to play fetch with my hoomans, they are in no mood to play with me. I usually like to ask them to play with me when they are having their din dins or watching their favorite movie on television. What I usually do is stand in front of them & drop my tennis ball on the floor several times to tell them, that I want to play ball, NOW! I don't care if they're busy or what, I want them to play with me NOW! If they ignore me, I will purposely push my tennis ball under the couch & dig. I will dig & dig & dig & make so much noise & push their legs around until they will get so fed up & get their lazy bums off the couch & get it out for me. That's the only way to get their attention! But after that, they will continue doing whatever they were doing eg: eating. So I will do it again to annoy them. They will get so mad, they will smack my butt & yell at me to stop it. Do I deserve that? All I want them to do is just play fetch with me at least for a whole hour till I'm satisfied...Please advice. Thanks!

Butt wiggles,
Solid Gold Dancer

Lady Kaos said...

Guilt is my secret to getting what I want, too. There aren't any restaurants with outdoor tables in my town so I've used my powers to get Mom and Dad to bring the food home!

Candi said...

Oh wow are you our agony uncle thats soo pawtastic.

You are going to be soo overwhelmed with letters :)

It's sooo good to be back blogging.

lots of licks


i'll remember to come to you for my problems.

Joe Stains said...

humans just don't understand us. I don't understand why you would want to hide stains either. They are a work of art and should be shared with the world!

Murphy Dogg said...

Excellent advice, Deefor! Pitiful always works. I also find that laying on the floor and refusing to move or get up can be quite effective.
Murphy Dogg

Arabella said...

Good Advice Deefor.

Lorenza said...

Hi, Deefor!
I love your Dear Deefor segment!
You are very smart and I am sure you will give us the best advices!
Kisses and hugs

Ike said...

Wow - I'm sure that dog appreciates that advice.

Jessie and Jake said...

Heehee - that is the best advice ever - We hope Poopy Pants takes this advice and uses it!

Jessie and Jake said...

Heehee - that is the best advice ever - We hope Poopy Pants takes this advice and uses it!

Abby said...

Hi, Deefor..

You have definately perfected the Sad Eyes look...

Good advise...I hope Poopy Pants uses it...

Abby xxxooo

Deetz said...

Awesome reply and great advice

Orable & Charlie said...

When I get bored being left behind, I usually find something that the humans really love - because I figure if that makes them ahppy, it ought to work for me, too, right? So I go all around the house looking high and low - sometimes it takes a bit of effort to get to it, you know, like chewing through a bag zipper or scratching the handle off of a door or something, but that should not deter you; you're a DOG! Then I take it to a nice clean spot on a carpeted part of the house and start to love it. I chew it, pull it apart, roll on it; sometimes I even throw up on it. Well, all of a sudden I don't feel so bad anymore. I cannot understand why this seems to upset the humans, but I have resigned myself to the fact that I will never understand them anyway!

licks and slobbers

Poppy said...

Yes Deefor, you are brilliant! I have my parents 90% trained to only eat at restaurants with outdoor tables. Ha ha!


the 4 Bs said...

Deefor, you really give good advice. you are really smart. we wanna be just like you.


Sharon said...

I like your advice column for dogs Deefor! You give such good advice!

I loved your camping pictures, you spent a lot of time hinging in the crate it looks like!

It's too bad Arrow keeps running away when you are at the park, especially the new Witness Protection Park. Maybe you can still go there if he promises to be good.


Mango said...

Deefor - You are so awesome wise! The ultimate sad face is worth a try.


Kodak the Eskie said...

Such a cute pose in your "guilty" picture! Talk about heart melting!

Hugs, Kodak