Friday, August 29, 2008

Friday Fun

The Democratic Convention was here in Denver this week. The park was very quiet. I think the homeless humans were all at the convention. Too bad. They drop a lot of chicken bones and goodies. All my mom did this week is watch the Democratic Convention on CSPAN and work. Short walkies. Off to work. Back to TV. What a couch potato!
There was a lot of new pee mail in the neighborhood. Most of it smelled like Democratic doggies. Here's my friend Pica checking out some doggies.

Today me and Arrow went back to the Witness Protection Doggie Park. We can’t go to some places—especially together. But we never did anything really bad here (like bite someone or go under the fence with the horses). Nobody knows us.

We chased each other and Arrow swam a lot.

See how skinny I am when I'm wet. My mom thinks I'm getting fat so I like her to see me wet. No diets. It's all fur.

We met this pretty smiling doggie who was with a foster mom. She needs a forever home.

Arrow likes the Witness Protection park so much that he refuses to leave. Today my mom was sneaky and grabbed him when we were playing. We went back to the car on leashes. He was so tired from running around and swimming and wrestling that he didn’t even care.

Monday, August 25, 2008

Camping 101- F

The experiment: To see if Arrow could go camping and not drive everybody crazy.

I’m happy to report the experiment was a failure. Not all of it but enough.

Arrow had a good time. He liked camping. He was even good in the tent at night. Only barked once or twice. I joined him so he wouldn’t feel lonely. But we shut up as soon as our humans work up.

He loved eating leftover human food.

He passed hole digging too. And he liked hiking in the woods.

He swam in the freezing water in a mountain creek.

Then he excelled at roaching.

Arrow did climb on the table. Got a bag of cookies off the picnic table. My mom spotted us before we could share them.

The bad part was his barking and squealing. If my mom left the tent early in the morning, he yapped and cried until she came back. Very bad.

Then he squealed and barked (a lot) when he saw other doggies. It was the 6:00 A.M. really loud, high pitched yapping that did him in.

Here he is refusing to get back in the car. But he didn’t even barf in his cage all the way home. Still, I prefer being the only doggie and having him spend the weekend in City Bark.

Thursday, August 21, 2008


Quick! Call PETA! My humans are doing experiments on an animal!

All summer I went away on weekends and Arrow went to City Park. Where he seems perfectly happy. But this week the humans are going to experiment and Arrow’s the guinea pig—no offense to all the wonderful guinea pigs in the world.

They're taking Arrow camping with me! He’s very excited. (He’s always very excited so it’s hard to tell if it’s about camping.)

First my mom bought him a new crate. He has a chewed up one that he uses in the car. (Cause he barfs a lot in the car.)

We have a giant one at home. When we go camping I use it as my cabin when I need some privacy. It was my friend Pica’s puppy crate so it has that good doggie smell. I sleep in it. At home sometimes me and Arrow play in it. Arrow goes in it in the morning to wait for his walkie.

My mom bought this one for Arrow. Too small. She forgot how much room Arrow’s ears take up.

The chewed up car crate is a good size. My mom brought it in and I started sleeping in it. At first she couldn’t find me.

Then she took Arrow with her to return the small one. They found one that was just right. High enough for his ears and long enough for a barf section.

Sometimes doggies ask me why Arrow goes to City Bark when I go camping. Many reasons.

I am not always the friendlier dog, but I am the civilized dog. I don’t pee in the tent. Or on the outside of it. I don’t climb on the picnic table. I don’t yap and cry if I am left alone for a second. Even in the crate. I don’t run away. I don’t bark at every doggie I see. I don’t chew up human’s stuff like their underwear and shoes. I don’t howl and bark and scratch at the tent if I hear animal sounds outside at night. (OK, once I did) And I don’t barf in the car.

The grand experiment will begin Friday night. The humans are prepared to leave if Arrow gets them thrown out of the campground. My mom thinks we should just camp in the woods somewhere. Maybe we’ll have to.

Monday, August 18, 2008

Dog is the Co-Pilot

Went away this past weekend. We put Arrow in doggie daycare and took off.

It was raining hard. A place called Allenspark.

When we got there a little birdie was sitting on the step. My bearded owner picked it up and put it in a box with soft paper towels. He covered the birdie up a little and it went to sleep in a ball.

In the morning it flew around. Then it flew out when we opened the door. Was sick the night before? Or cold?

It was on the step next to a statue of a man holding a birdie. Maybe that's why the birdie was there.

And there was a statue of little doggie holding a bone.

The cabin when it stopped raining

The humans were pretty messy inside.

My mom didn't like the bathroom cause the roof leaked. Humans get upset about pooping outside. I don’t know why.

When the rain stopped I checked out the flowers.

And the doggie across the road. Who checked me out.

They left me and went to hear some music. But I just relaxed.

Maybe we'll go there again.

Friday, August 15, 2008

Unpleasant Surprise

I knew something was up this morning. Every day it’s early walkie. Them some bitey face with Arrow in the house. Then breakfast. Then sleep all day.

I was just settling down for sleep all day when my mom put a leash on me. It’s raining so it didn’t look like we were going to the doggie park. Oh no! It hit me! Groomer! Bath and all the rest! I got on the couch. Acted like I was sleeping and refused to move. Didn’t work. And she took Arrow too!

ATTENTION! X-RATED Section ahead: Arrow has been peeing on pee pee pads upstairs. He has this peeing problem. But his pee pee is kind of shaggy so there are all these drip spots on the rug near to the pads. My mom wanted Deidre (my dominatrix and torturer groomer) to trim Arrow’s hairy pee pee. Deidre is kind of kinky and she likes doing stuff like that.

Here's Arrow after his bath. No close-ups of his you-know-what. But he does look kind of happy. I think he had a good time with Deidre.

Two clean doggies.

I'm a nervous wreck. At least it's over for a few weeks.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Walking Our Fish

Sometimes we take our fish for a walk. We take him to Washington Park here in Denver. He doesn’t go in the big lake.

There’s a little stream that runs through the park. He’s on his stretchy leash and my mom has to run along the edge while he swims. They both look pretty silly.

He comes out looking very tiny. And happy.

Also a little smelly and muddy. But ready for more.

Before we go home, we walk a little and get some treats. Then it's time to take the fish home.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Belated NOMS

I am late. I missed NOMS (Not of My Species) Day. I couldn’t think of anyone or anything that was not my species. I have never gotten close to a cat or a squirrel. I try but they are fast. I can’t say anything nice about mosquitoes. I don’t think Great Danes are my species. But I don’t know any, except to bite them on the leg once or twice.

Then I thought of Arrow. Right under my nose. He looks like a doggie. But he doesn’t act like one. He won’t jump on the couch for pets when humans call him. He only jumps on laps with a bone or a chew in his mouth.

He attacks fake animals

He’s hard to scare and boss around. Even when I make a real mean face. He eats strange things like big chunks of hair from the wire brush! And outside he’ll drop a chicken bone for a treat when my mom says Drop It! (She wouldn’t even try that with me.)

He LIKES baths. Anything with water. He looks a lot like a penguin.

He likes to jump in the fountains in the park. If he gets loose, he won’t come back till you catch him.

What is he? I decided he is an alien from Outer Space disguised as a doggie. That’s why he’s so confused about being a real dog. He’s like from Third Rock from the Sun. Here to infiltrate the doggies—and do what???? Take us back to his Planet of the Strange Doggies??? Good thing my mom had his things cut off. What if he mated with an Earth doggie?? Too scary to think about!!!

Arrow-- trying to eat like a real doggie.