Help! My Humans Are Taking Control!

Another visit from Bark Busters. This time I didn’t growl and bite Scott when he came to the door. And Arrow didn’t run out the door. He stood up on the back of the couch to get a better view. But he stayed in the house.


It's whips and chains for us now. My owner mom has new instruments of torture. Mine is a harness that pulls from the front. Not too stylish. And for Arrow a little blue collar that’s part chain.

Scott, the Bark Buster guy, showed my mom how to make us both walk a little behind her. She had to do her big dog growl (BAAAA) and snap the leash fast. Very confusing because I didn’t want to walk down the alley but she made me! She usually goes where I want to go!

So it was BAAA, snap, BAAA snap until we just stayed a little behind her. Then she told us how wonderful we are. I admit it. I'm a sucker for compliments. She did it again when I wanted to get a better look at the black dog across the street and growl at him.

Strange. Me, looking at the back of her jeans instead of her watching my cute little tail. Arrow was good too. I think he was scared. Especially when Scott did the stuff. Arrow thinks he's really a giant dog BAAA-ing at him. And tossing chains near his feet! Poor Arrow. When we got home, he hid on the stairs. And I hid in the cage.

Now our homework is practicing walking behind humans outside and never having any fun again in our lives. Please tell me if you know the number for BAAA Busters so I can get my life back.

Make a Wish

This is something I found on Poppy Q’s blog.

The Rules:
1. Think about what it is that you want more than anything, what your heart’s desire and fondest wish is, and what it is that you would wish for if you were to see the above wishing star flame across the night sky.

2. Right click and SAVE the blank graphic below.

3. Use a graphics program of your choice and place your wish on this picture:

4. Post the Make A Wish picture and your wishing star on your blog along with these rules.

5. Tag as many people as you like so that there can be wishing stars all across the Blogosphere and ask them to please link back to Linda so that we can see what wishes others have made and share those wishes with others.

I started thinking about wishes.

Possible wishes:
Magic Box always open
Running around loose outside every day
Eating anything I want even if it’s poop

This was Poppy Q's wish:


I thought of all my furry blogging friends and I changed my wish.

Make your own wish. Let's all share our wishes.

Deefor's Depressed

Today we went to the fenced in doggie park. I met a Yorkie-poo who looked a lot like me. (Poo for poodle not poop) My mom said maybe I was one of those things when I realized that Yorkies are very close relatives to the Austrailian Terriorist I live with. What a depressing thought.

Arrow was racing around like a maniac. I just pretended I didn’t know him. I stayed quiet. Even when that Yorkie-poo wanted to wrestle. Oh no! I like to wrestle with Arrow! Maybe I am part terriorist.

Asta challenged me to do something creative a few weeks ago. I’m more destructive than creative. But it might cheer me up. And make me forget that awful thought.

I tried some painting. The blue tasted pretty good.

Arrow was good at painting till he started to eat the brush.

He likes knitting. He ate the needles so he just uses his paws. I think he's a pretty good knitter but it really upsets my mom.

Weekend Getaway

Went away this weekend so my humans could play in the snow again. First we got ready. I had to make sure to pack all the food. Arrow's the lookout.

I’m lazy in the mornings. They have indoor plumbing and we get up at dawn to pee in the snow.

Breakfast. Arrow waits to lick my bowl.

My owner mom and the bearded leave us for the day. Arrow likes to make sure the table is clean.

They came home and we went for a walkie.

There was an Easter egg hunt in the park and Arrow found half and egg! They made him drop it!

We barked at a coyote and he ran away.

Then we crashed. Life is tiring.

Hair

Before

Hair. I have too much of it. When I first came to Denver, I was a mess. Big knots. My new owners didn’t pinch me and pull my hair out with brushes. No. They took me to a nice groomer and got me a haircut. No wires. No bristles. No pain. They loved me at the grooming place. They said I was an angel.

Now my owner mom always wants to brush me. She tried different brushes. She even cuts my hair with little round scissors—which I allow for a few minutes.

After

I’m not a mean doggie. Not a danger doggie. But whenever someone brushes me, I have to bite them. I can’t help it. For a while Justin lived with us. He would hold me down while my owner mom brushed and tortured me. That’s why I growl at him sometimes when he comes to visit. So he doesn’t get any ideas.

After

Today my mom cut off lots of my hair. I didn’t mind cause she was very gentle about it. Arrow likes to eat my hair. Of course. But I don’t think this haircut is going to win any prizes. She says in a few weeks it looks about the same.

Arrow has a good amount of hair. But he is my opposite in every way. Big ears that stick up. I have normal sized ears that flop down. I have a big feathery tail. His was cut off!! He likes everyone. I’m more particular. I know my name and come when people call me. He—oh well, you get the idea. Arrow likes being brushed!

Fun

Went to the doggie park this week.

Wasn’t too busy and Arrow and me got a chance to run around and get dirty.

My owner mom didn’t run after Arrow. He took off into the woods and sometimes into some wet swampy places.

Maybe she's trying to loose him But he always came back.

We played with some nice doggies at the muddy pond. Some were poodles like the 4XBs. Arrow swam and I just got wet.

I growled a little and my mom took us away. Sorry poodles. I was just nervous being one of the smaller ones.

Most of the time I was good.

Later I went to see my pal Avalanche at her house. As we left, Arrow ran out and we had to chase him around the park. He is lucky. He goes up the ally where the cars go, crosses the street, and runs around in the park where there are roads. A car could hit a black dog in the dark. Maybe he is like a cat with 9 lives. (Loranza, is it true that cats only have 7 lives in Mexico?) When we got him home my mom gave him a big growl and he stayed put.

I had lots of fun playing with Avie. My owners used to babysit for Avalanche. They missed her when she went home, so they got me. Dog knows why they got Arrow. As a toy for me I thought, but he doesn’t like being chewed.

Who You Gonna Call?

My owner mom did read Arrow’s book!

This morning a man rang the bell. When the door opened, Arrow ran out and I growled and snapped at his pants. After all, it is OUR house. That’s how we greet the Chinese food guy.

The man grabbed Arrow before he ran off and came in.

He sat down and explained how dogs get people to do stuff. My mom showed him Arrow’s manuscript. It said all the same things.

He told my mom she had to talk to us like a dog. A bigger, bossier dog than us. He went out again. This time my owner mom stood up and did this growl thing when I started to move to the door. I didn’t stop and she threw a noisy thing near my feet! Real scary. Then she called me over for some Good Doggie pets.

Arrow Before

She even did it with Arrow. He was so shocked he just stood there. Even with the door opened. Then he came over when she got down and called him. Without a treat.

We were amazed. She turned herself into a bossy dog. Later she did it when I barked out the window. And again when Arrow barked. He stopped! The man was from Bark Busters and she owes him big bucks.

Arrow After

But will it last?

Arrow's Guide to Training Humans

Since Arrow arrived, my owner mom has read lots of books about dogs. Books about having 2 dogs. Books about teaching dogs to do stuff. Not to do stuff. The other day she even talked to a dog trainer on the phone.

Yesterday I found a manuscript. Arrow is writing his own book about training people! He had it hidden under my blanky in my cage. Here is some of what he wrote:

A Dog’s Guide to Training Your Humans

To train humans, you have to be bad. Really bad. Humans don’t notice you if you’re good. Sure, they’ll pet you. Rub your belly. But they don’t shower you with treats. And all that Good Doggie praise.

If you’re bad enough, humans think they have to train you. It starts with Sit. Sit. Get a treat. You can just sit and look up at them and get a treat. They are easy to train.

Outside I pick stuff up. We walk on leashes in the city so there’s lots of stuff. Even in the country there are furry parts of animals and other yummy stuff. My human says Drop it! I drop it and get a treat. All I have to do when I want a treat is pick up a piece of garbage somewhere. Humans are real easy to train.

Now I know what you’re thinking: Why should I drop some chicken bone for a treat I always get? Because you can get those treats whenever you want. And if you are sneaky you can get the street treats too. Just eat them fast and don’t make a fuss about them.

Chew things. Anything. Shoes. Newspapers. Knitting. That gets you delicious chews and bones. Humans are easy to train.

Pooping and peeing in the house can get you lots of walkies. My owner mom was always taking me out. Outside she started giving me treats when I pooped! I kept having “accidents”. More walkies. Better treats. Double treats. Pieces of sausage and hot dog. Amazing things for just pooping outside. It took her about six months to realize that it didn’t matter when she walked me. Humans are slow learners. Use that. Now I mostly poop outside. For DOUBLE treats.

Being really bad in the house can get you out more. Things like barking a lot or running around like crazy. Humans think you must have more exercise. Longer walkies. Doggie day care. Dog parks. Fun places where you can run around and smell lots of butts. Maybe they’ll even move like Jon Katz who bought a farm in Vermont when his dog got in trouble in the burbs. (I read his book before I ate the cover.)

That is just the beginning! Arrow is sooo sneaky. It’s true. I almost never got treats before his bad self moved in!