Thursday, August 20, 2009

No Free Lunch by Arrow The People Whisperer

Taken from "Arrow's Illustrated Guide to Training Your Humans to Always Carry Treats and Give Them to You Constantly". (Not available from Amazon.)

If you want to train your humans properly NEVER do anything without a treat.
If they call you over just stare.
If they try to tell you what to do—SIT, STAY, ETC.
Wait for the treat.

Even in the house I almost NEVER come when called unless I smell something yummy.

My mom says, “Arrow Come.” "Arrow sit."
I check for the treat. No treat. I just ignore her. Arrow? Arrow who? I don’t know any Arrow.

When the treat is in her hand, I’m such a good doggy.

Some dogs (like the lick-ass I live with) will do ANYTHING for nothing. He rarely gets treats. Why bother. Before I moved in and trained them, the humans didn't even buy a lot of treats.

Deefor would walk around in a sit if he could figure out how to do it without wearing out his bum.


Follow my advice and wait for the treat. Your humans will become Happy Treat Feeding Machines. They will think THEY are training YOU. That’s the best part. They’re happy. You’re happy.

13 comments:

Khyra The Siberian Husky And Sometimes Her Mom said...

I subskhribe to many of your principles!

Well pawed!

Hugz&Khysses,
Khyra

Lorenza said...

Hi, Arrow!
I am like you. No treats for me? No tricks for you, mom!
Kisses and hugs
Lorenza

Mango said...

I'm with you. What's the point? Momma tries to trick me sometimes, but I always know when she has treats in her pocket and when she doesn't.

Slobbers,
Mango

Abby said...

Hi, Arrow...

Yep...That's the way it's done...

Mom is sooo proud of herself when She "teaches" Me a new trick...

HaHa...

Abby xxxooo

Niamh said...

You are an excellent people trainer Arrow! And your book will be a best seller for sure.

Your friend,
Niamh

Gus, Louie and Callie said...

You certainly have your humans trained..

Big Sloppy Kisses
Gus, Louie and Callie

MONA AND MOMMY TOO!! said...

Hey Deefor,

Just wanted you to know you was my spotlighted doggie last night!

Mommy loved the flowers. Did you send one of Arrow? Mommy can't find it where it should be. We didn't mean to leave him out but you are number 1 in my books anyway.

{{{huggies}}}....Mona

BlogDog said...

Oh Arrow, this is good stuff! I laughed outloud.

I tend to be a bit more like Deefor, but now I see the wisdom of your ways!

BlogDog

sallys blog said...

You are so so cute.
my mum had also 2 Yorkie. She love's you.

Nice wuuuh
Sally

JB's Big and Small Worlds said...

Those are some good tips, Arrow! We will try them at my house!
--JB

the 4 Bs said...

wow, that's such a genius idea! Arrow, you really know your stuff. we are gonna adopt your technique.

more treats, mom!!!

woofs

Bae Bae said...

You sure are clever Deefor..

~ Bae

RILEY AND STAR said...

Hi Deefor,

My advice is, don't try it!

I am pulling my hair out! Now my guest book is way over to the side bar and I don't know how to drag it back! Would your mommy happen to know how to do that? I need help!!

Thanks,
Riley's mom.

Thanks!