Taken from "Arrow's Illustrated Guide to Training Your Humans to Always Carry Treats and Give Them to You Constantly". (Not available from Amazon.)
If you want to train your humans properly NEVER do anything without a treat.
If they call you over just stare.
If they try to tell you what to do—SIT, STAY, ETC.
Wait for the treat.
Even in the house I almost NEVER come when called unless I smell something yummy.
My mom says, “Arrow Come.” "Arrow sit."
I check for the treat. No treat. I just ignore her. Arrow? Arrow who? I don’t know any Arrow.
Some dogs (like the lick-ass I live with) will do ANYTHING for nothing. He rarely gets treats. Why bother. Before I moved in and trained them, the humans didn't even buy a lot of treats.
Deefor would walk around in a sit if he could figure out how to do it without wearing out his bum.
Follow my advice and wait for the treat. Your humans will become Happy Treat Feeding Machines. They will think THEY are training YOU. That’s the best part. They’re happy. You’re happy.